I have been in quite a bit of weddings and have attended many more. As I’m just coming out of baseball wedding season aka the offseason, I thought I’d put together a list of some hints that I think every modern wedding guest should acknowledge.

Please note, this is my unsolicited advice. Also note, if you hit up my wedding (future tense) and don’t follow these pointers, I will have you escorted out. Haha.

RSVP on Time: Don’t be that person that reserves past the deadline. Timeliness plays into planning & then costs so don’t be selfish.

Don’t Wear White: I get that a lot of people think this is outdated and I love a good bridal party in white, but if you’re a guest, don’t stand out in the worst way possible.

Do NOT and I cannot stress this enough Text the Bride: This is probably the worst and most selfish thing. I don’t know why you would do this, but just don’t.

Give a Gift: The average gift is under $20 but the average cost-per-person is over $50. Trust me, a family will notice if they’re paying for your date night, and they will talk crap about you. The only time I won’t give a gift, is if I am in the wedding, traveling & purchasing everything (i.e. bridesmaid dress, hotel…you get it, it’s like $1000). I don’t think a wedding is about the gifts, but give if you’re going to take (i.e. food, booze & fun).

Anything Involving a Phone: I am all for the rule of having a disconnected wedding. I seriously detest looking at wedding photos and seeing an audience of phones raised or hearing vibrations during vows. Just leave the phone in your car…I promise that you will survive.

Comparing & Criticizing: I have been at weddings where other guests decide to critique the wedding. This is horrific and not Four Weddings. Keep your snarky & pretentious comments about salt to yourself, this isn’t your day.

…and last, probably most importantly, but not least…

Do NOT Post Photos of the Bride Before Her: I’ve noticed so many posts of the bride before she is able to post it. This is a huge reason why I am an advocate for a disconnected wedding. Let the happy couple have their moment and share the memories. This rule is not outdated and if you are guilty, you are tacky & I hate you. (not really but kind of)

If you have any other guest etiquette rules that you follow, please share! And, as always, keep being the best guest you can be! Especially on someone’s big day!